WellDeserved
by TheBucketWoman
Summary: Flash Fic for Vengeful. They got me into a suit and I don't do suits. A Dasey wedding through the eyes of another.


Well-Deserved

by TheBucketWoman

Disclaimer: Don't own _LWD_, "Take Me Out to the Ballgame," or _The Princess Bride_.

A/N: This is a flash-fic written for Vengeful, and based on the following prompt: "An observer's point of view on the Dasey relationship. It can be a character we know, or it can be another random person. I just want to see a Dasey through their eyes." It was also partially inspired by a recently aired _Degrassi_ Mini-sode in which Shane Kippel appears in a suit. ::Fans self::

They got me into a suit and I don't do suits. Especially this thing...a whaddya call it? A morning coat. People kept walking by and adjusting my tie, straightening the flower in my lapel, playing with my hair. And I kept checking to see if my shoes were scuffed. There's only a couple of people in the world I'd do this for.

Derek was getting married, poor schmuck. Me, Sam, and Sheldon were ushers. Edwin was the best man.

Somehow, Sam looked like he had his act together, like he just came out of the box. He looked...lemony fresh. Edwin, too. I was really the only one who looked itchy. Even Derek looked like he just walked off of the cake. If I didn't know better I'd say that he went to bed no later than 9:30, with his teddy bear and his glass of warm milk. But I did know better.

Okay, so we didn't go for the stripper. _I'd _wanted the stripper, but I was overruled. A lot.

But we did drink a lot of beer and watch a bunch of movies that were big when we were in high school. _Superbad. Clerks 2. Anchorman, _that sort of thing. We got maybe two hours of sleep. Now, at the church, I looked at the pews wondering if I'd go to hell for catnapping in a church. Or face the wrath of Casey.

"You can sit down, ya know," Sam said.

"Dude, I feel like I'm not allowed," I said.

"Yeah, me too," Sam said. "But I'm gonna." But he was afraid to sit down, too, you could tell. Casey told us all about what she'd do to us if we got wrinkled. When exactly it was that she turned into my mother, I dunno, but all that's missing is the magazine to hit us with. It doesn't even have to be a magazine. It can be the bouquet, or her shoe...whatever. I'm afraid of her. I can totally picture Casey nailing me in the back of the head with a hymnal.

Sam finally perched on the edge of the seat.

"You rebel, you," Edwin said, leaning on the front pew and flipping through a hymnal like it was the TV Guide. I wondered if you could go to hell for that, too. I was pretty much afraid of everything. It had been a while since I'd been in a church. When it came time to do the sit-stand-kneel thing, I was gonna be in such trouble.

The hymnal gave me an idea.

"They don't expect us to sing, do they?" I asked.

Sheldon, who had been staring at the votive candles, snorted. "What, you didn't get the memo?"

Boy should know better than to say stuff like that when I'm sleep-deprived. I sat there for a second wondering if there was a memo I'd missed. I realized he was kidding when Sam laughed at me.

"Dude," Sheldon said, ducking as I got up to hit him. "Church!"

"Oh yeah," I said.

Sam laughed harder.

Derek poked his head in from that little room in the back of the altar.

"Can I leave you monkeys alone for a second?" he said.

"Who you callin' monkeys?" I said, scratching my head.

"That'd be a no," Sam said.

"Anyway," Derek said, shaking his head. "Ed, I need you."

Edwin followed Derek into that little room.

"It's way too quiet in here," I said.

"Enjoy it while it lasts," Sam said.

"I'm actually hoping for a little noise here," I said.

"I'm not sure I'm looking forward to the organ," Sheldon said. "Too Phantom of the Opera."

"Makes me think of baseball," I said.

Sam groaned. "That is just all I need to be thinking of in church."

"Happy to help," I said, grinning at him. Sheldon turned away to hide the fact that he was about to lose it.

"We need to stop laughing. If we laugh during the ceremony..." Sam said.

Sheldon ducked his head and tried to stifle his own laughter and soon, the three of us were at it again.

"It's not like it's...what..."Sheldon thought for a minute. "_Lent_, or something. It's a _wedding_. We're supposed to be happy that Derek's taking the plunge."

"Off the cliff. Into the abyss," I said. Sam nudged me.

"We _like_ Casey, remember?" Sam said.

"Speak for yourself," I said. "She's gonna hit me with a hymnal."

"Yeah, but she does it out of affection," Sheldon said. It was one of Derek's running jokes. He thought it was cute that Casey threatened bodily harm when she got nervous, mainly because he thought everything she did was cute, even after all this time. Dude was so far beyond whipped.

We actually wondered what took him so long. Sam thought they'd run off and do it right after high school. Sheldon said they'd get married in university. I gave up guessing after they got their undergrad degrees and _still_ didn't get married.

But here they were. Took em long enough. They were the big two-five, for Pete's sake.

People started to show up, we could hear them outside.

"Here goes nothing," Sam said. He leaned close. "Think Derek's puking?"

"Definitely," I said.

"Hope Edwin remembered the gum," Sheldon said.

We started showing people in. There were a lot of big, floppy hats with people under them that I didn't recognize. We tried to be organized about the seating, but after a while, the system broke down. It wasn't that big of a wedding, so you'd think that we'd have had it together, but no. Nobody seemed to mind, though. We couldn't exactly separate the bride's family from the groom's anyway.

Coach Kaminski was there. And...

"Mr. Creepy! How ya doin'?" I said, like a dork.

"It's Paul," he said. "Call me Paul. It's not like I can give you detention, Ralphie."

"If you say so," I said. He laughed.

"Some things never change," he said, shaking his head.

If anything in the world is gonna put you on your best behavior, it's having to seat a couple of your old high school teachers at your friend's wedding. I bumped into Sam on my way back to the door.

"Dude!" he whisper-screamed. "I just peeked at Derek."

"He still breathing?" I asked.

"If you could call it that," Sam said. "He's pacing back and forth, praying out loud: 'Please don't let me puke on Casey and ruin her dress. Please don't let me puke on Casey and ruin her dress!' Edwin's having a real good laugh."

"Is his voice getting all high?" I asked.

"You know it," Sam said.

"I wanna go see!" I said. Sam pulled me back.

"You'll see soon enough," he said. "Wait'll Casey walks down the aisle. We're gonna need to stand by in case Derek passes out."

Knowing Derek as well as I did, I could totally picture him standing at the altar, turning all white when Casey came down the aisle in her little dress. Emily told us that Casey picked a dress right out of _The Princess Bride_, so yeah, Derek was going to need holding up.

I went back and peeked the first chance I got. I found Derek breathing into a paper bag and trying to get Edwin to stop filming him.

"Ed[gasp you really need to shut that off, bro," Derek said. "I don't wanna [gasp threaten your life in the middle of a church, dude."

"Yeah, the church tends to frown on stuff like that," Edwin said.

"Please," Derek said. "We can't have Casey see this. She'll think [gasp I'm freaking out."

"Dude, you _are_ freaking out," I said.

"Don't help," Derek said. "What I mean is, she'll think I'm freaking because I don't wanna marry her, but I'm freaking because I really really do."

"Well, isn't that why we're here?" I said.

"Yeah, Ralphie," Derek said, looking at me like I was an idiot. I get that a lot. "But I'm so gonna find a way to screw it up."

Edwin rolled his eyes. "He's been doing this for, like, twenty minutes straight."

"I don't deserve her," Derek said, starting to pace again. "And she'll find out."

"I won't tell if you don't," Edwin said. "You gonna tell, Ralphie?"

"Nah," I said. "Not me. Sheldon might blurt it out, 'cause, you know, he's _Sheldon_, but not me."

"That's comforting," Derek said.

"Dude," I said. "You deserve her. She deserves you. You _deserve_ each other. Ever hear that?"

"All the time," Derek said. "Just not really in a good way."

"In _every_ way," Edwin said. "Now give me the paper bag and get your silly...bum to the altar before Casey gets here."

"'Kay," Derek said. Edwin and I made a big show of dragging him out, and then we took our places.

We were just in time. The organ started up. I looked over and saw Sam biting his lip as hard as he could, and the devil in me wanted to lean over and make sure that I put "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" into his head for the rest of the ceremony.

Before I could do that, the bridesmaids started to trickle in. You could tell that Lizzie wasn't a fan of her dress, but I figured that Edwin was. Then in comes Casey with her Dad. I thought I heard Derek start to wheeze again.

Casey's head was uncovered because, Em told us, she thought she'd get tangled in a veil. There was no big long thing trailing behind her either. Same reason.

"Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry," I heard Derek say. I wasn't sure who he was talking to.

After about a year, Casey made it to the altar and she looked straight at Derek, who looked straight back at her, and both of them were suddenly okay.


End file.
